Coping with change

Think nobody’s paying much attention to you at the coffee shop as you pause while paying to noodle for quarters at the bottom of your surprisingly deep pockets?

Think again. That seemingly blasé waitress is not only judging you: she’s blogging your annoying habits too.

And if you live in California and your waitress happens to call herself Coco, then you’ll be able to read her disapproving thoughts about you in What I learn about men each day, an insight-filled blog where she complains about sweaty money, complicated coffee drinks, and — yes, jingling pockets full of change:

I am completely stumped as to why men carry around so much loose change in their pockets. I work in a coffee shop and take money and make change all day long. I have noticed that men are particularily enamored of their change. They want to keep what they have and get more change for their pockets. By the end of the day they have a ton of it. [emphasis added throughout]

If it was not already obvious, however, it soon becomes clear that Coco has a personal interest in relieving her customers of these extra coins:

I have many men customers who instead of putting their nickel or dime change from their purchase in our tip jar they deposit it in their pocket. They go around town all day with change jingling all day long. I call them the change jinglers.

Change jinglers. Is this a phrase Coco has coined herself? And more important: Reader, is she writing about you?

You can hear them coming quite a ways away. Their [pockets] are heavy with quarters, dimes and nickels. They don’t part with it. They put their hands in the pockets and play with the change and jingle it. I think it is a little creepy. Just let go of the change! It will free your pants . . .

And besides better tipping, what is Coco’s other proposed solution to this vexing societal problem? Well, you wouldn’t be reading about her insights into the social habits of the human male here if she had not on at least one occasion — yes, probably sarcastically — proposed what we consider a brilliant-yet-obvious solution: A man bag.

I have even gone so far as to suggest to some men that perhaps they should use a murse for their money. You know a man purse.

“For some reason,” she adds, “they seem to be offended by that suggestion. HAHA.”

Gentlemen, you heard it from Coco: Don’t be creepy; free your pants. You don’t want to become known as a jingler, do you?

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